My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize