party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
