someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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