The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
