I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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