Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
