our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
