Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
