maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
