This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
