I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
