Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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