Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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