imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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