NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
