thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
