ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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