Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
