I faked an abortion last night.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize