Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Pants are for mortals
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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