I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
