At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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