were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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