member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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