you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
