4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the liver wants what the liver wants
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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