I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
