Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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