8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
