I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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