I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
