worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
