And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
