Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
