when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Someone signed my nipple.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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