did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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