i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
