she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
