just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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