I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
