Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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