dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
