she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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