Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
