So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
