I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
