I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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