Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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