When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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