Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
