I'm sorry my penis didn't work
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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