he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
