hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
