i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
