in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
