I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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