apparently the secret to your success is patron
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
