I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
