in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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