Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have fence marks all over my body
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
