I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
