Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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