I'm lost and stupid without you.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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