I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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